Biographies and memoirs of remarkable people often include all sorts of misfortunes they had to endure in childhood or during their lives, which helped them to build their character and become successful. Even though you did not say anything about your lucky stars, James, your good fortune is almost palpable in this piece. It seems (or feels) obvious that your scored very low (or zero?) on the list of misfortunes, and very high on the list of blessings. And you certainly know about the last ingredient, which is "enough." I'm sure many people would benefit from reading your memoir to figure out how to become so happy and successful as you are without going through some version of hell or struggle. Have you ever considered writing a memoir?
RVB, I ascribe to the saying that people are as happy as they make up their minds to be, no matter what ills befall them (or indeed, what blessings they have been favored with). That said, I feel extremely lucky on both dimensions.
Never considered a memoir. I suppose I'm creating a legacy through my works. I am thinking about a summary of key life strategies. I've written a lot of individual articles, but a handy reference to the major themes might be useful and user-friendly
The notion of "be grateful for what hasn't happened" has been a gamechanger for me. I discovered that there's a technical term for this: downward counterfactual thinking. Aka a fancy way of saying: looking down at where you could have been theoretically to where you actually are.
Humans, for some reason (it always seems to go back to evolution?) prefer upward counterfactual thinking, aka, looking up to what they don't have (yet) but wish they did. It works great for stuff like a bad result on your math test because it motivates you to do better at what you can control. Not so great for the things you can't control, like being robbed at gunpoint -- although that will lead to all kinds of interesting arguments to just how much we can and can't control. So I guess what I'm saying is, gratitude seems to require having a healthy imagination. It's one way of looking at it, anyway.
Enjoyed this article very much, James. A fine idea, indeed.
Thank you kindly, Brenna! The downward counterfactual also explains the wildly divergent feelings of Bronze and Silver medalists. The Bronze winner performs the downward counterfactual and realizes how lucky they are to be on the podium. The Silver medalist looks at how narrowly they missed Gold and thus typically feels anything but pleased.
Ahh, James, you have again done the math that upholds the Philosophy. I'm grateful for your wisdom . I think one of the keys to happiness is knowing what is "Enough". It is different for everyone and I think your numbers support knowing exactly what "Enough" is for most of us. One thing that I know is that I am grateful for the many mentors that have come along at just the right time, say the right words, provide the gentle push to make the pathway easier. Good write and message! Peace!
Enough is a fantastic concept, agreed Bob. And as to finding mentors at the right time, I am reminded of the saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
"Be grateful for all the bad luck you missed." This reminded me of the old joke, "If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any at all." Haha!
James, you've hit the jackpot with your own run of successes. I trust you've counted every lucky star and tucked them away. Congrats on your good fortune.
I noticed that divorce didn't make your list, only parental ones as a child. Considering the divorce rate is close to 50% in the U.S., it surely must be considered as another misfortune.
Great pics, as usual, you've amassed a superb collection.
An excellent essay for food for thought. Thanks for sharing.
I told Bruce, "I'm kind of friends with these Stoics online." First thought this a.m. when I woke was "remember all the things you have to be grateful for..." Great minds think alike. And, have arrived at the age where there are very few things I need or want as long as I have a roof over my head, clean water, decent bed, and food to eat.
Isn't it interesting that the more accomplished some people become, the more they are content with the basics? Wisdom comes to a few early, and never to others, no matter how long they live. We can be grateful we've gained some at all, Amy
I so agree! I'm so happy I have a bit of time off today and have already walked Jack and watered my little indoor garden. Maybe I will go to the beach? I was going to write but ... I think I'll take my guitar to the beach.
Biographies and memoirs of remarkable people often include all sorts of misfortunes they had to endure in childhood or during their lives, which helped them to build their character and become successful. Even though you did not say anything about your lucky stars, James, your good fortune is almost palpable in this piece. It seems (or feels) obvious that your scored very low (or zero?) on the list of misfortunes, and very high on the list of blessings. And you certainly know about the last ingredient, which is "enough." I'm sure many people would benefit from reading your memoir to figure out how to become so happy and successful as you are without going through some version of hell or struggle. Have you ever considered writing a memoir?
RVB, I ascribe to the saying that people are as happy as they make up their minds to be, no matter what ills befall them (or indeed, what blessings they have been favored with). That said, I feel extremely lucky on both dimensions.
Never considered a memoir. I suppose I'm creating a legacy through my works. I am thinking about a summary of key life strategies. I've written a lot of individual articles, but a handy reference to the major themes might be useful and user-friendly
I feel blessed I could read this post.
That's the spirit!
Beautiful. Thanks so much, James. On a side note: I have a very similar daily view, and boy do I feel lucky.
Thanks, Maria. The views in Switzerland are a treat one never tires of. Enjoy them
The notion of "be grateful for what hasn't happened" has been a gamechanger for me. I discovered that there's a technical term for this: downward counterfactual thinking. Aka a fancy way of saying: looking down at where you could have been theoretically to where you actually are.
Humans, for some reason (it always seems to go back to evolution?) prefer upward counterfactual thinking, aka, looking up to what they don't have (yet) but wish they did. It works great for stuff like a bad result on your math test because it motivates you to do better at what you can control. Not so great for the things you can't control, like being robbed at gunpoint -- although that will lead to all kinds of interesting arguments to just how much we can and can't control. So I guess what I'm saying is, gratitude seems to require having a healthy imagination. It's one way of looking at it, anyway.
Enjoyed this article very much, James. A fine idea, indeed.
Thank you kindly, Brenna! The downward counterfactual also explains the wildly divergent feelings of Bronze and Silver medalists. The Bronze winner performs the downward counterfactual and realizes how lucky they are to be on the podium. The Silver medalist looks at how narrowly they missed Gold and thus typically feels anything but pleased.
Exactly! It sounds trite to say "it's all about perspective", but really...much of it is.
Ahh, James, you have again done the math that upholds the Philosophy. I'm grateful for your wisdom . I think one of the keys to happiness is knowing what is "Enough". It is different for everyone and I think your numbers support knowing exactly what "Enough" is for most of us. One thing that I know is that I am grateful for the many mentors that have come along at just the right time, say the right words, provide the gentle push to make the pathway easier. Good write and message! Peace!
Enough is a fantastic concept, agreed Bob. And as to finding mentors at the right time, I am reminded of the saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
"Be grateful for all the bad luck you missed." This reminded me of the old joke, "If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any at all." Haha!
James, you've hit the jackpot with your own run of successes. I trust you've counted every lucky star and tucked them away. Congrats on your good fortune.
I noticed that divorce didn't make your list, only parental ones as a child. Considering the divorce rate is close to 50% in the U.S., it surely must be considered as another misfortune.
Great pics, as usual, you've amassed a superb collection.
An excellent essay for food for thought. Thanks for sharing.
Yes, divorce is a big one. I suppose people see big swings in happiness before and after, but there's no doubt it's life-changing.
Thanks for appreciating the pictures. As a fellow outdoors walker, I can tell you pay attention to your wonderful surroundings
I told Bruce, "I'm kind of friends with these Stoics online." First thought this a.m. when I woke was "remember all the things you have to be grateful for..." Great minds think alike. And, have arrived at the age where there are very few things I need or want as long as I have a roof over my head, clean water, decent bed, and food to eat.
Isn't it interesting that the more accomplished some people become, the more they are content with the basics? Wisdom comes to a few early, and never to others, no matter how long they live. We can be grateful we've gained some at all, Amy
I so agree! I'm so happy I have a bit of time off today and have already walked Jack and watered my little indoor garden. Maybe I will go to the beach? I was going to write but ... I think I'll take my guitar to the beach.